By nature, humans want to feel in control of their environments and of their lives. From the time that we are very young, we start planning our careers, our love life, how many children we are going to have, the type of house we are going to live in, etc… Perhaps this is why so many of us struggle when it comes to life’s unexpected events. One of the hardest things that we will ever have to learn while incarnate is the art of letting go and trusting that everything is happening exactly as it should. While it’s easy to trust when everything is going well, it’s not always easy to let go of our expectations when life isn’t going as we had planned.
I would like to tell you a story about a lady that I am going to call “Sue”. Sue was a successful career woman with an extreme type A personality. From early childhood, she was highly competitive and held herself as well as others to extremely high standards of excellence. She rarely got close to other people and the majority of her time revolved around working towards her personal goals and objectives. Up until the age of 35, everything was going as planned in Sue’s life. She was married, had an amazing career, a big house, a nice car and two healthy children.
On a warm day in mid-July, two weeks after her 35th birthday, Sue’s husband came home from work during the day which was highly unlike him. He looked bothered and asked Sue if he could talk to her. Sue’s heart began to race. What could it be? Is he sick? Did he lose his job? “Come sit outside with me, Sue”, said her husband. Sue followed her husband and the two sat down on their back deck. “Sue”, he said with tears in his eyes, “I love you. I love you very much but…”, his voice cracked as he choked back his tears. “But, I am not in love with you anymore.” Sue’s heart sank. She opened her mouth but she was unable to speak. Was she hearing him correctly? Was this just a bad dream? Her husband continued by saying, “For the past four months, I have been in love with another woman. I didn’t see it coming and I don’t know why it happened. All I know is that she makes me feel alive. I am so sorry, Sue. I love you and the kids but I have to go.”
The next few months of Sue’s life were a blur. Throughout the process of her husband leaving, she continued to work and take care of her children until one day, she just couldn’t anymore. In mid-autumn, Sue fell into a deep and dark depression. She was unable to get out of bed and had to ask her mother to come and stay with her so that she could help with the kids. She took a leave from her job as she was completely unable to function.
One night, as Sue lied awake in her bed, a flood of tears began to run down her face. The emotions that were emerging were so deep and so painful that she felt that she could no longer go on in her life. In her despair, she cried out to the heavens “Why have you done this to me!! My life was perfect! I had everything that I ever wanted and now, it’s all been taken away from me!” In an angry rage, she threw a picture of herself and her husband across the room. The glass shattered as the frame slammed against the wall. Worried that her children might step on the glass, Sue forced herself out of bed to clean up the mess that she had made. As she began to clean, she noticed the shards of glass had fallen into a pattern that resembled a flower. All of a sudden, Sue made a pivotal realization about the circumstances in her life. She realized that sometimes in order for change to occur, our life as we know it has to break. The flower-like pattern created by the shattered glass reminded her that from our brokenness, beauty and transformation can immerge.
The next day, Sue got out of bed and made breakfast for her children which was something that she hadn’t done in over a month. Her whole attitude about her divorce had shifted and she had decided that this painful event was going to be the catalyst for positive change to take place in her life. Over the next couple of months, she sold her home, quit her job and moved her family to a new city. She took a lower paying job with a small not-for-profit organization that specialized in helping homeless people. She began spending more time with her children, friends and family. Nearly a year after her divorce, Sue realized that by letting go of her old life and the anger towards her ex-husband, she opened the door for a much more fulfilling existence to unfold. She also began seeing a new man who ended up being the love of her life and whom she eventually married.
When we let go of our expectations as to how we think our lives should be, we open the door for positive transformation to occur and for miracles to happen. Our souls know what we need, despite our ego’s objection. Sometimes, life has to force us into uncomfortable situations in order for change to occur. When we let go of our ego which is always fear based, we open the door for wondrous things to unfold!
For more information about how to let go of expectations, please contact me!